Ash Boon, Angsty Film Critic.

Just finished watching some Jap ghost flick called 'Dark Water'. Man...the whole movie was a serious waste of my time. It was about a mother and 6-yr-old daughter (Ikiko) who'd just moved in to this old apartment building. Actually, it seems to me like they were the only damned people actually living in that place, besides the building manager. All that screaming and dirty water and NOBODY else even stuck their heads out. Sheesh. Anyways, after moving in, a coupla eerie ethings happened, mother finds out that a year before, a young schoolgirl (who's mom had abandoned her) had gone missing. So this 'missing' girl had died by climbing up and falling into the water tank, located on the top of the apartment building. Oh, and did I forget to mention that the water tank had a big uncovered hole at the top? Duh. Anyway, the dead kid becomes a ghost (they always have to be ghosts for some reason...why not a nice vampire or something?) and starts bullying Ikiko, making her fall ill and all that. The mom gets scared cuz she knows there's a ghost in the apartment above them, the place where the kid who went missing used to live. So to cut a long story short, there was a lot of boring bull after that, and since the ghost wanted a new mother to replace the one that abandoned her, Mother dearest sacrifices herself to protect her daughter. Of course we don't get to see how the ghost actually killed her because they had to get in the lift and close the doors while the poor daughter beat her small fists on the grubby lift doors, all the while screaming (in Japanese) "Mommy, mommy". She then follows the lift up a floor, bangs on the doors again, and plops down to the floor and cries. Suddenly the lift door opens and a ton of filthy water gushes down on her. She again cries for her mother. Dammit I feel like I'm writing a film treatment. Duh.

Anyway, on to the 'good' part of the show. I only say its good because Ikiko grew up to be a pretty gurl in a high school uniform. Yes, I'm secretly a pervert. Oh joy. Anyway, she drops by her old neighbourhood again on the way to her friend's house, and decides to revisit her old apartment that's been closed and condemned. How sweet of her. Despite all that, the lift still works, even though the whole building's dark as the inside of a whore's pussy. Actually it was that way the whole time. I think the director's trying to save money on lighting. Then she walks into her old apartment and, surprise, surprise! everything's the same as it was before. She pokes around, and wallah! MumsyDearest is home! Our female Einstein here doesn't have a clue what's going on, and chatters away to her mom as if her last memory of her mother wasn't seeing her in the green arms of a frickin' murderous ghost. Hell, that gurl's as cute as she is dumb. She even wants to move in with her mom again. Of course, Mumsy Dearest says no, because, guess what? Green Arms was standing right behind Cute Girl. Cute Girl finally suspects what's going on, turns around, sees nothing, faces
front again, finds out Mom has disappeared and FINALLY figures out what's going on. Sweet.

Heh. So sorry to spoil it for you guys...NOT. Like, maybe some of you out there might find it a nice show...certainly there were a few good elements in there, but...ah duh. The movie is stereotypical of all the Jap horror films I've ever seen...lots of suspense, but a rather OTT (over the top) delivery of the shocks that I find tasteless. Its the epitome of 'cheap thrill-dom'. Its like..for example, there was this scene where the tap to the bathtub started gushing water. At first,the water was clear, a few seconds later, it was black, because, like duh, they'd already showed where the kid died. Then little Ikiko tried to turn it off, but it was pretty obvious that the taps were already tightly shut. And she kept trying to shut them off. Like hellooo? We get the idea already? Then dirty black water overflows from the side of the bathtub, and starts bubbling violently in the middle. So, okay, something's coming up from the middle of the tub. Mini-Einstein keeps staring at it..suspense builds, then suddenly, green hands shoot out of the tub and grab her head, pulling her face down into the water. Okay, that's fine, except that the hands were so fast that if I hadn't already known that something was gonna pop up from down there, maybe I just woulda thought, 'Oh, Cutie Pie wanted a mud-pack for her face.' Rofl.

Oh, and guess what. After I'm writing all that, besides getting disconnected like..what...6, 7 times? And being eaten alive by hordes of mozzies (do we have a mozzie farm in KL or something?), I have discovered that Blogger is DOWN. I can't even access the main page. Its because of that bloody hacker thats been bothering them recently. I know it. Bastard. He's been causing trouble to everyone! Why can't he go do something more useful with his time instead of inconveniencing decent folks like us. Like, robbing a bank or something. As long as its not my bank. :P Or..he could always do my laundry for me. Heh.

Ah duh..PC hanged again! BITCHASS!

[+] Older, not much wiser. 10:25 AM