Ultimately Siaoz: I am Boon. Too many people know I'm Ho®ny!

Ultimately Siaoz: Template #3

Disclaimer: Read at your own risk. If after reading; you go crazy, get angry, look like a llama, become cross-eyed, froth at the mouth, get lice, fleas or syphillis, then that's your own damned problem.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Jean says maybe I'm becoming attractive to men (note: attractive to, not attracted to..women still rock). I definately agree. Men do find me attractive. Fortunately for me, they're all GAY men. *Blink blink* Oh wait. There're 2 straight guys I know who think I'm attractive too. Damn, is this whole world turning bi-sexual or something??? I look like a guy dammit, how can any straight guy think I'm attractive and still consider himself straight? Weird.

Yo J, or Jester, or...err whatever other names you go by :P Why the sudden interest in me? I barely know you. Of course, that might change in the future, but it still applies for now. Hani says she thinks you think I'm interesting. *Blink blink* Hold up a sec...*mumbles to herself...Hani says she thinks you think...ah ok got it right* AHEM. Now where was I. Oh, cabbage gives you gas. I just found out. Jean's known all along. This is not fair! How come no one's ever mentioned it before? There're always fart/gas jokes about baked beans or beer and whatnot, but never, never any jokes about cabbage! Why are there no jokes about cabbage??? *Whines unbecomingly*

Okay..think I gotta go...wanna go outside the lab and burp all this crappy air out before the whole lab hears my stomach making funny sounds...*uRp!* Skuze me..

I definately ate too much cabbage.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 8:29 AM

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Blogs really are useful. Comment sections even more so. We can rant, we can scream, we can sympathize, we can discuss our deepest thoughts and feelings here. And other people sympathize. We are never alone, no matter how much we think we are. Bloggers don't have to keep repeating life stories to friends. We can just say "Go read my blog" (direct quote from Hani), and "Comment!" (another quote from her) for those of us with comment sections. Its wonderful. I'm definately rediscovering the wonders of blogging. :P

I went for my Writing for the Stage tute today. The play Hani allowed me to edit is a success (so far anyway ;P ). Its being chosen as one of the 3 plays my tute group has to present to the whole class. Of course, technically, being a work in progress, there're were alot of suggestions for stuff to be added in, removed and changed from the original script. Hani, you should be proud. Its excellent.

Bought a single yesterday. Cost only A$2. (Anyone jealous yet? Heh.) Taxiride's "How I Got This Way". Really excellent song, and sort of suits me, for some reason.

Sweep it under the rug
Hurt the ones that you love
I can't remember when or where
Sit alone with the one
Who shines her light on the sun
A darker day now I have lost my way

You think I've changed, but I'm the same

If it really matters
I'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean I'm never gonna fall
Wrap your arms around me
'Cause there is no need to disagree
Set your mind on better days
I don't know how I got this way

Breaking all of the rules
Act like some kind of fool
I'm on my own and you will never understand
Building the walls around me

If it really matters
I'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean I'm never gonna fall
Wrap your arms around me
'Cause there is no need to disagree
Set your mind on better days
I don't know how I got this way

Enough about me
I've tried so hard
Stuck in a hard place, let down your guard
Soak in summer daze
Trippin' with craze I close my eyes

If it really matters
I'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean I'm never gonna fall
Wrap your arms around me
'Cause there is no need to disagree
Set your mind on better days
I don't know how I got this way
[+] Older, not much wiser. 11:42 AM

Monday, October 28, 2002

Hi. My name is Boon. I'm an overprotected brat. Now I'm a half-useless young adult.

I need to get some independence. I've just realised that I act too much like a little kid among my friends. I should grow up more. As I was saying to Nina on ICQ, I wanna be capable, confident and independent. Right now I'm just blur, adorable and semi-independent. I'm thinking its because for some twisted reason of mine, I tend to bring out the maternal instincts of my friends. They help me with almost EVERYTHING (no, they don't bathe me or feed me or tuck me in). Nina says it would help if I was less blur, but you see, the blurness sort of comes with being automatically babied by everyone. I'm not expected to know anything (in fact, its quite surprising if I DO know anything). If I don't know something, I'm either briefed on the spot (saves me from having to remember it), or I'm forgiven automatically. Its become natural for me to be blur, and not to know stuff. Chee...with people pampering me all the time, who would want to do things by themself? Hrm..that's my main reason for staying blur, and being the only butch in a huge group of females...it makes things even tougher.

Of course, being the pampered one does have its advantages. Things are just done for me. But it has its disadvantages as well. For instance, when I'm with those people who just exude self-confidence, as if they really know their stuff (even though they actually don't) I feel as if I'm at a disadvantage. I feel crippled by my not knowing what to do. And for some reason, due to all the pampering (and a passion for the familiar), I'm not a very adventurous person. Like, a small step at a time is fine, but not always. Heh. Me no guts. But then its like I get this strong feeling that some people think I'm hopeless because I don't like to take risks and do certain things. I've been wayyyy too sheltered. Thats not good. If any of you guys ever come across any parents or friends who're overprotective of their kids...please...tell them not to do it so much. Its really quite damaging. Its like learning how to walk when you're already in kindergarden.

Oh well. At least I'm learning how to get around on my own and stuff, even though it took me 7 of the 8 months that I've been in Perth to get me started. I've got 1 month before I go back home, back to the (over)'protective' wings of my mother. Bleh. From frying pan into the fire. With my mom, if I try to take the initiative to be independent, she thinks I'm being rebellious...now look whats happened...I'm a naturalized incompetent pampered brat. Bah! *grumble grumble grumble grumble....*
[+] Older, not much wiser. 11:05 AM

Sunday, October 27, 2002

First, I shall state 3 things. Blogger bad. Murdoch internet connection bad. Gay clubs good. Now, I shall start an eventful night's worth of blogging...and I'll try to keep it short.

I went for a gay parade last night. Then on to 2 gay clubs. The parade itself was quite alright, abit short though..about 50 minutes or so in length. Except that there was this big bunch of asian students in front of us who were TALL bastards (and bitches) and wouldn't lean down a little for the benefit of those of us standing further back. But that wasn't so bad...it was pretty much expected. The irritating part was this chubby girl standing diagonnally in front of me, to my left. She was so...irritating would be the most polite way to put it. She kept shouting "Go baby! Hey sexy!" the whole time...or other combinations of those 4 words. Airhead. 4 word vocabulary airhead. Bah.

After the parade was over my friend and I went to a gay club called Court. 2 good things about the place wuz that it was a big place, with different types of music, and cover charge was only a$5 (normally free). The bad thing about it was that it was so packed in most of the areas that it was hard to move. Everyone was rubbing against each other, it was as if the whole G&L community of Perth were all congregating at that one club alone. I didn't know many people, except the 1 friend (and his friend) that I went with, but we made some friends along the way and the bunch of us ended up sticking together. Wasn't really interested in the chicks there, cuz all the good lookin ones were already taken. The single ones were..err..well to me they weren't worth the effort of picking them up.

After Court (which closed at 2am), we moved on to a place called Connie's. Not even half as big as Court, Connie's (to me) is kind of a dodgy place. Its dark, the dance floor's sticky, the other customers there are a mixture of kinda old and unattractive, to young and attractive. The only problem is, not that many young dykes go there. I have no idea why. Is there a better place to go? I wonder. We stayed at Connie's for about 3 hours, and left at 5, at the false dawn and headed to Mackers because we were starving, before catching a cab back to my friend's place, where I was supposed to stay the night (morning?). A word of advice...never take cabs in Aust unless you have no other choice. They cost a BOMB!

Now, before I bore you to death with unnecessary details, on to the juicy part. I think I look too much like a guy, even when I try my best to look like a girl. Like last night. I was wearing almost the same thing I was in the photos, with the exception of the pants and the t-shirt. The pants and t-shirt I wore last night were of a different color. Now, I know I'm a relatively good looking person, I've even been called 'cute' on several occassions (no, I'm not bragging, just setting the stage for the point I'm about to make), but does that mean I've got to get hit on by FOUR gay guys? In the same night? One kissed me on the cheek (he didn't wait for me to say yes), the other tried to stop me and make small talk as I was looking for a friend of mine, the 3rd (some drunk guy) wanted to dance with me even after I told him I was female and wouldn't stop hounding me whenever he saw me, and the 4th (a sober 1 nite stand of the 3rd guy) even tried to grope me. Very interesting. I shoulda been born with a dick and gay. At least that way I woulda definately gotten laid last night, rofl.

In consolation though, I DID get kissed (on the cheek) by another dyke...except that she was abt mid-late 30's, and her glaring, sullen partner was about to crush my hand when she was supposed to be shaking it. Oh well. At least I know I'm attractive. *Evil grin*
[+] Older, not much wiser. 12:10 PM

Thursday, October 24, 2002

WOKAY! Me back in bizness after 1 night of absence (not my fault!) due to Blogger/Blogspot having problems. They did NOT upload my latest post/changes to template last night up till today. But its working now :) And I've even got the pics link working (look to the left...a lil further down...a lil more..lil more...hey hey hold up! Don't look under Hani's skirt! *Runs and hides behind TJ*....Muehehehe.

Me so happy. Stupid Blogger finally working. I really should change to pitas. Err..but gotta wait up till I have more free time to come online...next week will be a real killer. I got 2 presentations, 1 minor one, 1 super major one (I think its...40%? 35%? of the final grade), and a major essay (only slightly less major than the super major presentation...the essay's worth 35% or so as well), all to be completed by Friday. Its gonna be a MAD week...I'll be havin lots of fun. Muehehehehe.

Boon <-------*has very weird idea of fun*

Muehehehehee....*needs to go pee*....*chuckles with glee*....*does not have flea..uh..s*
[+] Older, not much wiser. 10:33 AM

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Hey ya'll. Been trying to change the template, but apparently somethin's screwy with blogspot cuz for some reason its not updating my changes. Its either that or I made a mistake somewhere, which means dat I gotta start from scratch again, and I'm really too tired for that. Right now I don't give much of a damn what it looks like. Comment section is apparently still down. Or so I think. Whatever, its still screwy. Will fix more when I have more brainpower and energy. And I'm hungwiiieeeeeee!!!!

Heh. Met Jean today. Or Maybs. Or whatever she would like to be called. LOL. Went to Garden City for lunch and yakked..and yakked..and yakked. and ate something. Oh, did I mention we yakked? And Jean, you were right. I think our blogs sound almost the same. Yay us. *Rolls eyes* Neways, I had fun. Me going home to zzzz now before I stone to death while listening to POD, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, DMX and Korn. *Shudders* Its amazing I don't get nightmares. At least I'm not in a Marilyn Manson mood tonight. Bleah.

PS - Yeah. Blogspot is definately NOT uploading my stuff. The bastards! They killed Ken...uh...I mean their damned server is down! Or something. Pah. I should change to pitas someday. Is it more reliable?
[+] Older, not much wiser. 1:02 PM

Gee....I kinda forgot to blog yesterday. Well..not really FORGOT, but I was doing work, and didn't get down to blogging yet. Mueheheh.

I told Oscar not to bug me anymore with her SMS's through out the day. And she actually agreed. YAY! Excellent. I was really getting rather irritated by her constant smsing. Haha. Anyway, short blog now since I'm at my friends house. Will write more later tonight. Oh, oh, oh, I met JEAN! Yay :P
[+] Older, not much wiser. 2:09 AM

Monday, October 21, 2002

Today, the main topic of my post will be about Hani. And several other things. *Blinks nervously at Hani* Well I can't talk THAT much about you...I don't want Tariq to get jealous, you see? I wouldn't risk something like that unless I was really going after you. Which I'm not. I have enough problems on my hands with Oscar alone. Anyway, to honour Hani (the rest of you will find out why soon enough), I shall devote my first topic of discussion to her.

HANI. Being the last minute person that I am, I just remembered around 10pm tonight that I had to write a scene for tomorrow's Writing For The Stage class. Well, actually it was due last week but I skipped class and totally forgot about it till earlier tonight. Shocked? Don't be, I do it often. Anyways, when I came online, I met Hani on ICQ (like I have for the past few nights ever since I began coming online from the SV lab). Then I began whining about my assignment (the beginnings of my last minute panic-drive that I use to push aside my reluctance for doing assignments). After some whining, she generously sent me one of her own plays, allowing me to edit and use it for class. She's a wonderful person, isn't she? Okay enough gushing (just for now. More to come later actually). She effectively saved me from another long night of failed brainstorming and lousy work. I'm a bad writer. Really I am. I ramble far too much than is good for me. The best work I've ever done were those sick Sailormoon skits that I did back in Form 5 Science class when I was bored. Anyone remember those? If no one does, its perfectly all right, since I'm a self acclaimed lousy writer anyhow. But if anyone ever wants to read those dumb skits, I think I still have em somewhere at home...if my sis hasn't thrown em away out of ignorance (she does that once in awhile...throw things away I mean). Anyway, I digress. Back to Hani. She's a wonderful, brilliant writer (more gushing). She's a much better writer than me by far. If anyone wants to read her script, called There's No Play Tonight, ask her for a copy. Or me. I'll happily send it by email (because my ICQ's screwed up. 2002a has a shitload of bugs). Or by IRC, if anyone chats on Dalnet. But I don't think anyone does. But then again I'm not too sure...does anyone here even chat on IRC? Besides me, that is. Damn, I digress again. Back to Hani once again (more gushing to come). She's such a wonderful person (have I said that before? I forget). She's also the first ever person to help me with an assignment. Or rather to let me use hers. Thats wonderful. After...err...many many years of studying its the first time this has ever happened to me. Thank you Hani!

Other topics. Um...do I have any? Oh, yes. Eh wait..I forgot what I was gonna say. Ah duh. I did have something...I just can't remember it!!! Nevermind..I'm on AFB mode right now (AFB = Away From Brain). It must come from having blond hair (just a little bit really). Anyway, end of blog. Me gonna go read and comment on everyone else's blogs (except TJ's...you have no comment section! GET ONE!), before I go do my work. I have alot less stress now that I have something solid to work with. LONG LIVE HANI!

PS - There Hani, a whole post just on you...thanks for the script! =P
[+] Older, not much wiser. 10:50 AM

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Bleah...I effectively lost 1 day yesterday. Stayed up at the lab the entire friday night all the way till Saturday EVENING like about 6pm or so (18 hrs straight) before going home n knocking off till 6am today morning. Rofl. So basically I had a super long Friday and no Saturday. Come to think of it, I didn't even eat anything on Saturday. I think its the 1st time in my life that I've ever gone without food for more than 24 hours. Utterly amazing. While I was in the lab I just didn't feel like going home to eat..and by the time I got home I was too zoned out to feel hungry. So there goes 1 totally wasted(?) and uneventful day. However, I just can't imagine a better way to spend it. Here anyway. If I was back home I could've ajak one of you guys out or something. Or at least I woulda eaten something :P

oh and Jean, if yer lookin for me around campus, just look for someone quite close to the ground (read: SHORT), with hrm...armyboy haircut n the sides of my hair dyed a dark brown...the top's light brown..or something like that. I'm always wearing cargo pants, dark colored sneakers and shirts of some sort. And...whether or not you see me, look for me!! I'm goin home in a month and...6 days (eep so fast) and I still havent met you and I've been here like..err..since February (I'm too lazy to count the number of months =P).

Sayyyy...doesn't anyone come online during the day on Sunday? I've been on ICQ since...9am today..(its 9pm now) and I havent seen a single person..err..those on my list anyway. Where IS everybody? Oh and Hani...I was discussing with my friend about that theory of yours..the one we were talking about where you explained to me how you picked your flies? If you don't remember just ask me =P. Anyway, I was really thinking about trying out your theory...as revenge on someone whom I thought was a friend but played both sides of the field on a matter of trust. She assured me she was on my side, then assured the person I was arguing with exactly the same thing. Now she's like best friends with one of my enemies...so..heheh...a multi-purpose target. But Oscar said I shouldn't. What goes around comes around, she says. Oh well. I'm still considering it. Besides, this person oughta be an easy enough 1st target..she used to like me..ROFL. Except that I'm not supposed to know that. The info was courtesy of Oscar...lol. Interesting bit of gossip she had there.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 6:04 AM

Friday, October 18, 2002

Oh. and I got a new URL redirect thingie. :P For those of you who're interested...err...mostly whoever else happens to have linked me, my blog can also be found at http://slingshot.to/ash Heh. Shioknya. It was a choice between takeoff.to and slingshot.to. Slingshot sounded nicer. The rest all..very boring lah..like clix.to or clik.to or destined.to.

Hr,. Bravenet.com is a pretty interesting place. It offers lots of free stuff for webmasters. Heh. Yes, I already got some of the more interesting ones...just look to the right. =P And Liquid2k's AccessFileman is IMPOSSIBLE to use in the early morning. I have no idea why. Its really weird...it says it uploads, but it always ends up as 0.00kb files. Then when I try to upload the same file later one (at night) it uploads perfectly fine. Strange. And irritating too.

Seriously, I think I should start sleeping regular hours. Staying in the lab all through the night all the way into mid/late morning/afternoon is starting to be very weird. To other people that is, not to me. I'm perfectly fine with it. But I start doing all these nonsense...well not really nonsense. I can always say that I'm practicing for the upcoming 2 websites that I've got to build as assignments. Sigh. Even a thing of pleasure becomes work. What kind of a world is this?!?
[+] Older, not much wiser. 5:55 PM

Since its officially the end of the school week for me (like duh, it IS Friday) and for many other people who are as lucky as me, I counted how many classes I've attended this week. Out of 7 classes (3 lectures, 3 tutes and 1 lab class), I've attended a grand total of..*drumroll please*...1 and 1/5 classes. Amazing isn't it, how many classes a person can skip even though they DID try to make it for class. They just kept oversleeping. Its really not their fault. Really. Its not. I am such a bad liar. I kept setting my alarms like 1 1/2 hrs BEFORE my classes were supposed to start, but for some reason I kept waking up half an hour after the classes had already begun. A typical (for this week only, and not entirely guilt-free) day of classes would be like this...e.g. I had a class at 1.30, and then another class at 3.30. I set my alarm for 12. The alarm would always ring. And Í'd always put it on snooze. Then I'd forget totally that I had classes (still on the Holiday Mood Syndrome), and wake up at 2pm, thinking that I'd forgotten something. Eventually I'd remember, then say oh well, by the time I get ready and walk to class, it would already be over, so I decided, oh well, lets just skip this one, sleep for awhile more, and wake up nice and ON TIME for my next class. So I'd sleep back, and wake up at...4pm for my 3.30 class. Brilliant aren't I? Yes, I know many of you would agree. As for those of you who don't...talk to the hand. =P

But one thing good about today was I dressed up really smartly to go to uni. Don't ask me why, I just felt like it. Gelled my hair (sort of..it stuck back up anyway, the only thing the gel did was make it HARD..and stuck up. Sort of like an erection.), wore a short sleeved shirt (without a t-shirt inside..those of u who remember how I dress would know that I always wore a shirt with a t-shirt inside), tucked into my best pair of pants (and I rarely, rarely VERY rarely tuck in my shirts), wore my sunnies n such...heh. I know I looked good. And most importantly, I felt good.

And I finally got around to putting my pic up. Heh..yes I know, I've been procrastinating. Some of ya'll may have seen this pic before, some of ya'll may have not. Its all good. Now all of ya'll can see it. Lol. Okay forgive my bad jokes, I'm in a weird mood right now. I can't help it. Its really not my fault...its all those external influences. And the weird fact that I've only had ONE cigarette since...hrm lemme see...it was so long ago its hard to remember...erm...11.30pm? I can't help it, Imma chain smoker. And please, don't nobody analyze me.

Oh btw, Winamp3 rocks :) So does Linkin Park's My December and DMX's Party Up (Up In Here) and What You Want (feat. Sisqo). Oh those are some frickin MAD songs! Excellent. I recommend! For those who like Rock and Rap, that is. And for a simple game recommendation, try this website:- Fly The Copter.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 3:22 PM

Thursday, October 17, 2002

Well now. I was gonna update later, but then Hani bullied me into doing it sooner instead. She's really a very good bullier, I tell ya. Anyone need any professional bullying done, go look for her. I couldn't blog last night because the stupid internet connection was down. Again. For the (seemingly) hundreth time this year. Geez, for such an established university, the Internet system here is quite sucky. And because of the rush, I'm currently exhibiting signs of the...uh...'Blogger's Block' syndrome. This is not good. Hrm what day is it by the way? Oh right. Thursday. Damn, I havent been to a single class this week. I simply cannot skip anymore classes. Well...maybe just one or two just before the end of semester...but most certainly not right now. Oh wait. It IS just before the end of semester! *Bonks herself* Rofl.

Me went to the city all by myself yesterday. (Yes, it's a big deal to me cuz I never did it before). I absolutely HATE getting lost. I'm pretty lucky that I went though...I had to go because I had to pay for my plane ticket back to KL (which I did and its sitting happily in my wallet right now). And while I was in Northbridge looking for Joy Tours, I saw a huge, HUGE banner announcing GAY PRIDE PARADE, 26TH OCTOBER 2002. Brilliant. A gay parade and I didn't know about it. If this was back in KL, I'd be helping to ORGANISE the bloody thing. I am so out of touch here its disgusting. Oh and you know what else? I went into this interestingly named bookshop called Arcane Bookshop which was having a 15% off discount on all G & L products. I then picked up a magazine called Bloom magazine, which informed me that THIS WHOLE FREAKIN MONTH HAS BEEN GAY PRIDE MONTH!!! Aughh...all the things that I've missed...but at least I'm still going for the parade. Unfortunately...the parade's on the very same day as the Ministry of Sound rave...AUGHHH....gay pride parade or MOS rave??? *Sob* The last rave of the year for me...and I can't go..because its just a rave. How can I miss out on a Gay Pride Parade? If I did I wouldn't be gay. Damn...being gay is more sacrifice than just missing out on some job offers, or gettin weird looks in public (mostly when I'm in the male toilet), or getting insulted and looked down upon. I gotta sacrifice my MOS rave!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Oh well. Its all good.

Jody said today that I'm still clinging on to her. As if I ever even TRIED to deny that. Of COURSE I'm clinging onto her. The person I (currently) want most in the whole damn world indicates to me that I don't measure up to her (rather high) expectations, and she expects me to forget about her all in the snap of her fingers. Ah duh. What does she think I am, Superman or something? I'm TRYING, you shit horse, I'm trying. I need time to do difficult stuff like this. *Rolls eyes* (If she reads this I am so DEAD). =P

As for Oscar...I'm really undecided. Alotta new factors came into play tonight, such as me actually reading her explanations. Will not say more on the subject, because I actually have no idea what to say.

Me went for haircut too yesterday. My hair is now super super short. My flatmate commented that I look ready for army boot camp. Yes, its that short. 1 inch on the fringe, just over 1 cm along the top of my head and about 3(?) millimeters along the sides and back. I can't even gel it properly anymore, and that's no fun. I also lightened the sides and back with a little bleach. My mom will SO kill me if she ever saw my hair like this. But I may do it again just before I go back so all you guys can see it too. ^_^ Lets just see if I have the guts to do that or not. I may just bleach the tips blond too ;) Ah beng to the max okay. ROFL. Should I? Or should I not? Comment, people.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 12:38 PM

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Whoa...I spent 14 hours at the lab yesterday..or rather earlier today. It was mad! I shoulda brought my sunnies cuz by the time I left the lab it was almost noon. Had a few problems with the template today (As Cin and Hani are my witnesses). I can't stop fiddling with the template. I keep adding things, changing things, trying out new things (which invariably DO screw up the template sooner or later). I tried to add in a marquee earlier. Took the coding from a friend's site and just tried to add it into the template wholesale. Not only did it NOT work, it also wiped the whole template clean, and leaving me without a backup copy of the coding for my template (I actually suspect it wasn't my fault but blogger's.), which resulted in me painstakingly picking out all the customized bits from the source of my own UN-refreshed blog (fortunately I had a window opened to my own blog at the time) and re-customizing the template again. Thank god it wasn't a template that I had written (because I don't know jack about HTML or java), so I didn't have to rewrite the whole template. Anyway, as you might expect, I think I'll leave the marquee business alone for the time being. Maybe I'll try it again tomorrow =)

But now, the lil fucker won't save the most recent (of all the other recent) changes to my template..it keeps saying that it ran out of string space (whatever THAT means). Anybody can tell me? What, do I have too many things on the template or what? I really think blogger's having a problem..perhaps too many users logged in at the same time. I couldn't even access my blog settings earlier, so I decided to post instead. Hopefully the publishing of this doesn't go wonky as well, as its a little like the Hotmail compose option...it doesn't save your text when you accidentally navigate away from the Sent page. '

Oh and Nina, I don't need to be bullied anymore. Go ahead and link me. Hani had to bully me because she wanted to link me on the very first day I started blogging..that was kinda scary actually. But she bullies really well, so I didn't mind all THAT much. =P
[+] Older, not much wiser. 11:46 AM

Monday, October 14, 2002

Yierrrr...I never got down to doing my work. Decided to skip the class today and present it to my lecturer at next week's class instead, lol. I'm still in holiday mood! I should be on holidays still! Argh...I wish I could have those 2 weeks back again...damn :( hehe...
[+] Older, not much wiser. 6:41 PM

Its amazing how you can know something, and understand it even, but not realize it until its pointed out to you in a very direct way.

There was a bomb blast over in Bali on Saturday night. Some of you may have seen it on the news or on CNN. Its a suspected terrorrist act. The death toll (last I heard) is 180+ people, and over 300 injured. Many of them were Western Australians. 3 bombs went off in 3 different popular nightclubs, all of them tourist spots. According to a local newscaster who flew over to Bali to 'check out the scene', all that was left of one of the clubs was merely "a smoking hole in the ground". Its not a nice thing to talk about, but listening to the news over the radio this morning when I was thinking about my own problems...they seem extremely trivial compared to people dying and in pain and fear. The radio was having interviews of people who were still waiting for news from loved ones, and people who's relatives managed to get back safely. Or alive, at least.

Because of that..I've decided to give Oscar another chance. And stay friends with Jody (not that I had much of a choice on that matter). I won't make excuses for my decisions, except that life is short, might as well live it and enjoy it while I still have the chance and quit moping around about things that I don't or can't have. I still miss Jody though. She's magnetic. In my whole life I've only known 2 ppl that affect me this way...1 I'll never have, which is good because what I don't know, I won't miss. The other...I've had, and I'll always regret the fact that I'll never be the one who was able to keep her. If you guys ever find someone who makes you glad to wake up in the morning just so you'll have another chance to see their face again..try your best to keep him or her. Becuz..if you don't try, you won't know. I think I've tried..havent stopped trying yet..but I'm half given up already LOL. Okay now I'm rambling....and PMSing. Better stop now and go do my work. And I'm hungry too dammit! Oooo...I got candy bar...mine mine all MINE! Muahahaha...okay..really need to go do work now.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 11:44 AM

Sunday, October 13, 2002

Jody just got att again..to one of her ex's..a friend of mine. Me n her..was supposed to be a fling...only a fling..so why do I even CARE? Fuck that man...I need a new target LOL. Someone intro me to a decent girl please! I need to get J out of my head... =P
[+] Older, not much wiser. 11:13 AM

Bleh..spent over 12 hours at the lab yesterday...that just shows how much time I actually spend on the comp when I haven't anything else better to do. Just added the Blogback/Shoutout function to the blog...its pretty neat..reminds me of the ecircles/communityzero comment functions. The only problem is that I dunno where all of it is stored...and that I can't edit or delete any of the contributions. *Scratches head* This is good practice for the 2 upcoming websites that I gotta create...except that one of them I gotta do it all in html by myself...painstakingly writing all that code...oh horror of horrors...why did I have to take Cyberpraxis. If I actually wanted to write so much code I'd have taken up Comp. Sc. instead of Communic. and Culture. Damn, talking about skoolwork reminds me that I still have a stupid stage play to write by noon of Tuesday...and I only have a rough idea of what I've gotta do..lol....luckily my lecturer's a relaxed guy...I can prolly present it the following Tuesday.

Heh, had an interesting chat with Oscar last night (or rather early this morning). She sounds a little obsessed. Hmm...actually she sounds more than just a little obsessed. She sounds awfully nuts, really. Here's a little exerpt from our conversation:

[EdGe`] : ahahah so wat if i got back with u..then still sleep with jody
[EdGe`] : me n u, we wont last
O^scar : if u so still wanna sleep wif her, dun tell me n i won't ask n i will give u space
O^scar : if dat's whut u want
[EdGe`] : sigh...dun u find dat u sound abit desperate?
O^scar : u knoe..a wife can stand her husband beat her..but can't stand her husband sleeping wif another..but i can stand both ..cuz i love u very much
O^scar : n if dat's whut u like to do i won't ask
[EdGe`] : WHAT?!?
[EdGe`] : are u nuts?
O^scar : mebbe u think am desperate..but am just wanting a 2nd chance for ourselves
O^scar : ;(

That sound nuts enough? Here's another one:

O^scar : thou u say am now nuts or whatever shitz, i just knoe i only want u
O^scar : i dun care if u say it's not worth or what..
O^scar : i just love u
O^scar : dat's all
[EdGe`] : u're weird
O^scar : am not
O^scar : i really love u
O^scar : issit wrong?
[EdGe`] : up to u
O^scar : sigh
O^scar : pls dun give us up
O^scar : no matter how long am gonna wait
O^scar : if it takes forever
O^scar : let it be
O^scar : pls keep in heart..oscar loves u forever
O^scar : u'll alwiz haf a special place in me
[EdGe`] : wonderful
O^scar : i love u
O^scar : i love u
[EdGe`] : ok
O^scar : i dun give up on u..no matter what ;(
[EdGe`] : u're freakin me out man
O^scar : .....

Feedback ppl..please!! She's starting to really scare me with her "I love you's" and "I'll never give up's"..kinda like my other ex..err...some of you know about her and some of you don't. That's okay though, cuz that's a whole nuther story. And Oscar also wants me to stay for 2 days at her place when I go back to KL...that is, BEFORE I go back home and surprise my parents that I'm back (yes, my trip back is a surprise..they expect me to stay in Perth all summer). Help, anyone? Suggestions? Opinions? Solutions even? Anything would be good, really.

Oh, and by the way TJ...GAPO ITU DATING??? *Rolls around the floor laughing like mad*...*GedeBONK*...Owww...sakit... =P
And Yusan (if you ever read this)...cheer up! At least you know your way around computers and html and what shit...I know nuts..unless you need a Master Bull-Shitter..then thats me! =P (talk about beinghopelessly lost...) Bwahahaha...my life has no purpose and I'm still perfectly happy with it *empty-headed grin*.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 4:36 AM

Friday, October 11, 2002

A'ights, am done with the posts explaining the events of my life (in brief) for the past 1 month. Soon I will let the world know of the existence of this humble little blog..who's author is now announcing that she will be flying back to Malaysia on the 25th of November! (Monday) Departing Perth at 1.25am and arriving in KL (should be) around 5.30am or so! Hurrah! Who's happy? Huh? Huh? Who's happy? I am! Are you? Nevermind, I can't see you. Maybe you can tell me some other time.

Hrm..and if I manage to keep being enthusiastic about this blogging thingy (I'm trying, really I am), I'll also write about whats been happening recently between Oscar (my ex-gf that some of you have met) and myself. So far, whatever's been going on hasn't been very pretty. But if I do start writing about whats happening then you guys can all see what a heartless bastard I can be. Well, almost. Heheh.
[+] Older, not much wiser. 4:00 AM

Ah okay. Finally all done with the basicsand happy with my little template editings and stuff. Its a pretty lame template I know, provided by blogger, but what can I do? I dunno html for nuts, and I'm kinda lazy to learn right now. Think I'm sucky? Hahaha...so blow me, you punk. =P

Err..okay..now what does one do when one is confronted by that horrible, horrible thing called writer's block? The problem with starting something new is either that you have a GREAT start...but no plausible ending in sight. OR, you really really wanna start on something...but you have no frickin idea how. Right now, I have no frickin idea how to start off. Well..I know I have started something already...but the difference between mumbling crap and writing something substantial is...oh wait...blogs are normally filled with crap aren't they? Except that the really good blogs are written by people who manage to make their version of crap sound interesting. OK, I will try *frowns and growls and grimaces and grinds teeth together*.

Now, to start off my first blog entry..(is this too formal? Maybe I should make it a tad more informal)...wait, lets try again. How about this;
*AHEM* Welcome to my blog everyone...(geez, that sounds like I have a shirt and tie shoved up my arse) NOPE! Definately not..try again;
Firstly, I'd like to say that..*sighs* This sucks bad. Like most men (hey all u guys, don't get offended yet), and some stubborn women too, I'm too lazy and blockheaded to simply refer to the millions of blogs available for my viewing to see how they started out and maybe 'borrow' (okay, okay, so i should have used COPY instead) their style of starting out a blog.

But then again, since I already have so much bullshit ahead of me, let's just make my life easier and SKIP the traditional "Hello, my name is yada yada yada.." bullshit and go straigtht to the hardcore details. The Updates/Highlights of my life in the past..oh say 1 month or so that lead up to today are located at this link (2010 Update: Don't bother, this was deleted years ago). If you want to, click on it to read (almost) all the dirt on my 'wonderful' holiday (No details abt the sex part sorry). If you don't want to click on it then there's nothing else here for you to read about. I reckon its time to wave bye bye to you then. *waves bye bye*
[+] Older, not much wiser. 3:55 AM

This is just a test post, coz i'm still using the same account as my old blog at the same address..so still mucking around with the template html n stuff...
Oh by the way, I apologize in advance for the pink. Wondering what I'm talking about? Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. Here's a tip too...use the refresh button if you can't take it. =P
[+] Older, not much wiser. 2:27 AM
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